So I notice in my toolbar or menu bar or whatever bar is at the top of the internet thing, a tab that said wordpress. It has been quite a long time since I’ve even looked at wordpress, much less posted something. So I figured, what they hey, I might as well put something new up here. Not like anyone reads it anyway. I think I’ll keep posting without advertising and see if anything actually happens…Anyway…
The past year or so has been some kind of ride. There have been lots of ups and downs. And God has been faithful through them all. And yet, while I knew that He was there, there were only a few times when I really sought after Him and avoided looking to other things. In turn, that has caused me to grow distant from Him. If I were honest, I would say that I have felt distant from Him for quite a while. Over the past year or so I have allowed the Work of the Church be my guide. I have allowed relationships and people to be my God. Why would I be suprised when I didn’t feel the One True God when I have set up many other gods.
But God is so good. He has allowed the distance between us to drag on. At first I didn’t even notice it. I was so consumed with my personal pursuits. But over time, I have become increasingly aware. I don’t like it. I feel like he has used my circumstances to not only make me aware, but cause me to dream again…to seek again.
The last month has kind of been that pursuit. I have grown dissatisfied with my present condition. Where is the passion? Where’s the fire? Where’s the sense of purpose? This has got to change. And you see, I’ve realized that none of these questions can be fixed by me simply striving to fix them. I’m learning that I have to allow Christ to be my entire source. He is my source. He is my fire, He is my passion, He is my purpose. If I try to create my own fire, purpose, or passion, I will yet again find myself frustrated and empty. I will not settle for this. I want God. I want Jesus. I want to be in love with my Saviour!
